This 4th of July, I'm feelin' old school American. Like jumping on the City of New Orleans and sayin' Good Morning America, how are you? Like braiding my hair and wrapping a star spangled banner around my head. I'm feeling Willie patriotic!
To summon your deepest American powers, it helps to wear your spirit animal on your chest. The American bald eagle lets its mullet flutter freely in the wind to summon all the patriotic powers and freedom.
When you wanna curse, but have to be a professional. This version of the Come and Take It is safe for work. Wanna find out what happens with you f with Texas? Mess around and find out.
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A few things that all Texans love: beef, beer, guns, America, and country music. Strait Texans know the best route to get to Amarillo by morning, when to call the fireman, and when to leave all their exes in Texas.
Before you embark on a weekend of tailgating or tubing down the river, get yourself an insurance policy shirt. Now when you wash up on the shores or pass out in a bathroom stall, people will know where to return you. To Texas!